Single at 40

    My first year in my 40's has been good.  I'm in good health, have a great job, and enjoying life.  For a while, I was bummed out that I wasn't married with a family of my own. I was looked at as the black sheep of the family, and my sexuality was even questioned.  My female friends would say I'm a catch, yet women would not give me the time of day.  I was the single guy at family gatherings.   I kept thinking, why am I single? I would date very accomplished and beautiful women who would dump me for idiotic reasons only to date a busboy who just got out of prison.  I was lost.  I was confused.  Given San Antonio is becoming ratchet faster than hell in a hand basket,  I never gave up hope.  My mistake was not appreciating my freedom as a single man.  There were guys who had the marriage and family situation that I wanted telling me they envied me.  That I'm lucky to be enjoying life in the way I am at my age.  I am lucky.  The last two years have been full of grief,  pain, and regret; yet im still standing.  I just keep moving on.  Sure my ex girlfriends now regret their mistakes, but for me there is no going back.  My eyes are set on the future.  I will eventually meet the woman who is my soulmate, but for now I have a world to enjoy.  I have set goals for myself and that will be my focus.  I embrace being single.  I'm a very young 40.  I have alot of living to do.

     I have been burned in love.  But I don't let it bother me.  One ex in particular hurt me in every way possible.  Left me for a pathetic loser.  She thought he was the greateset thing going.   Two years later, her superman loses his job.  She loses her vehicle, her health takes a downward spiral,  and she can barely pay the rent.  Upon hearing this, a friend of mine thought I was enjoying my ex's misfortunes.   I told him I wasn't.   I don't hate her, I pity her.I just cocouldn't be around someone who was self righteous not realizing they had their head up their own butt.  The fact of the matter is not that she didn't love me.  Her problems lie in the fact that she doesn't love herself.  Its hard to see at times, but bad decisions lead to dangerous and long lasting consequences.   Yet I move on.  Going where I can explore and enjoy life.  Plotting my next adventure,  and making great memories.  I have truly turned the page.